[McCoy sounds, understandably, pretty stressed out. The infirmary is constantly understaffed, and when some of the people who usually help out are the people who decided to get themselves killed/used as human(oid) punching bags this weekend, it means the issue's even more apparent.

That said, there's a professionalism to the bark, because McCoy does his best when he's stressed out and has ten million things he has to do. It's just also useful to have a staff of people on hand for when these things happen.]

I need anyone with an extra set of hands and basic first aid knowledge down here five minutes ago. We've got a lot of pretty banged up people and I can't be everywhere at once.

For anyone who isn't down here and needs help, don't keep quiet about it. I can send someone up with a stretcher or help you walk so long as you let us know where you are. And if anyone's seriously injured, call me down before you move 'em, you'll just make things worse if you don't know what you're doing.

[ooc: If anyone wants McCoy (or one of the other non injured, surviving medical staff) spam or in a log, let me/us know, and feel free to spam off this entry.]

[The audio clicks on, but Bones hesitates before saying anything, because telling everyone about this is just. Not something he wants to do. There are unhappy wolf noises in the background, because Nymeria's staying with McCoy for a while and is decidedly Not Pleased about Arya's disappearance.]

Ar- Cat's gone. [Flat. He's super depressed] Her room's still here, and she's still on my item, so I guess the Admiral booted her home for a while or something. [And Nymeria hasn't been able to track her anywhere, so she probably poofed home. But if any of you assholes kidnapped her or whatever, McCoy will find you and he will make sure you spend the rest of your miserable life being sorry. :|]

If anyone's looking for her in the mean time, let me know.

[It kind of sounds like he wants to leave it at that, but there's stuff to do, and he's good at throwing himself into work when he's depressed. Even if this is really just opening the door for more bullshit and horrors, but oh well. He still sounds pretty flat and resigned, because fuck this place. :\]

Merlin's joining the infirmary staff as another direct care warden, so if anything ever happens to me or I'm not around for whatever reason, you go to him for help. If anyone's got some medical experience and wants to help out, or wants training, Hey- Nymeria- Stop it- [The unhappy wolf noises have been getting louder for a couple seconds, before they're interrupted for a moment as she starts nosing at the communicator curiously (or out of annoyance, stop playing with it and take me to the CES to kill some rabbits plz :|) and McCoy gently tries to get her to stop, finally giving up and turning around, scratching her ears a little.]

We could always use the extra hand. We've got nursing positions open for wardens and inmates, and a couple people who know first aid on call in case we need an extra hand. Inmates'll need warden permission before they can sign on.

Do you people need hobbies or something? I can promise you, reading or knitting or whatever's way more productive than stabbing each other in the hallways. Good God. [Heavy, heavy sigh. Fuck all of you and your stab happy bullshit. :\]

For any new arrivals, I'm Doctor Leonard McCoy. I'm the Chief Medical Officer on board the Starship Enterprise back home and I'm the head of the infirmary here.

Some ground rules: you are not allowed to leave the infirmary until you've checked in with a doctor so if you fall on your ass in the hallway during your escape attempt, we've at least got an idea of where the hell you wandered off to and can come looking. The infirmary is always staffed by a medical professional, who are all here to help you when you need it. Don't be a moron and hide something that's just gonna do more damage when it heals incorrectly. We're not gonna bite you.

Anyone who hasn't come in for a quick exam yet should get in here as soon as possible. The procedure's done without physical contact and the results are confidential. They're just used as a baseline so we know what's normal for you in case you're ever brought in here too injured to give proper medical information. [You don't want to die on the operating table because you forgot to mention you're allergic to some antibiotics or painkillers. :|]

Anyone who's medically trained who wants to lend a hand, or anyone who'd like to brush up on some first aid should contact me. Any inmates who volunteer will need their warden's permission before they're approved.

[ooc: If anyone currently in the infirmary/visiting the infirmary/what have you wants to spam him, I am totally down for it! He basically lives in there.]

For any new arrivals, I'm Doctor Leonard McCoy. I'm the chief medical officer on board the starship Enterprise back home, and I'm head of the infirmary here.

We're down on level two, and if you haven't already, I'd appreciate it if you could come down and get a medical exam since I'm assuming no one's coming on board with their files on hand. They only take a couple minutes, the procedure's done without touching you and the results are confidential. It just gives us something to work off of if you ever get hurt on board.

[Private to Arkady]

I've been meaning to ask, anything I should know about House before I give him access to most of the stuff me and the Doctor have in here?

Ninjas or no ninjas, the infirmary's still in one piece and I'm not planning on going anywhere, so if anyone's got any issues, don't keep quiet about it.

[Filtered away from Shendu + Anyone who's been public about wanting to help him]

Is anyone down in Zero hurt at all? And since we're even more short staffed than usual [Bawww Merlin come back. :C] if anyone's still free who's got experience treating injuries, let me know so I can get in touch in case someone else decides this is a good time for a violent rampage and the ninjas don't stop 'em first.

[Private to Jim]

Don't do anything stupid.

[Private to Arya]

[... c+p from above.]

Should I bother asking if you're keeping out of trouble?

For any of the new arrivals, I'm Dr. Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Office on board the starship Enterprise back home and head of the infirmary here. I'd really appreciate it if anyone who hasn't already could come down for a medical exam. Since most of you come in without medical records on hand for us to look at, it gives us an idea of what's normal for you in case you're ever hurt on board. Existing medical conditions, allergies, that kind of thing. They only take a couple minutes, the procedure's done without touching you and the results are confidential.

And as long as we're on the subject, we're kinda understaffed at the moment since Caesares and Martha left, and most of the support care inmates have either graduated or left. If anyone's got any medical experience and wants to lend a hand, contact me and we can try to work something out. Inmates will need their warden's permission before they're allowed on support staff.

[Warden Filter]

I was also thinking - especially after what happened in October - we should get a list of people who can help out in the event something happens where most of the normal people on staff are incapacitated, especially since it's just me and the Doctor as actual doctors on staff.

I'd be happy with anyone with some first aid experience or knows how to help out in a medical crisis, and if people are interested in being trained further, that can definitely be arranged. The list will be kept posted in the infirmary and people on support staff will be kept up to date with who to call in case [Something awful happens to me and everyone else. :U] something happens.

[Private to Jim]

I'm putting you down on the list whether you like it or not.

[Private to Arya]

You have a good time with Arthur? [Please tell me you didn't seriously injure him and leave him to suffer in the CES. :|]

[ooc: The list of people who want to be used as extra 911 contacts will be posted and updated here, and now's also a good time to go post there if your character has a preexisting medical condition Bones and the rest of the infirmary staff should know about! This ranges from noticeable injuries, psychological issues, infirmary related triggers, biological differences from humans, allergies and history of addiction, so if there's anything medically relevant, post away!]

[Bones has set up shop in the infirmary just like usual, despite being a cranky fifteen year old, and has managed to get his hands on some blue scrubs that... kind of fit. He does not look pleased to be several inches shorter and going through puberty again, but let's be real here people, Bones rarely looks particularly pleased about anything.]

The infirmary's still open. I don't care if I'm a kid, I can still operate a tricorder and administer hypos, so if anyone gets hurt, don't keep it to yourself. There're still people around who can help you out.

Jim, Arya- [Whatever he was going to say is getting interrupted by unhappy screeching, and McCoy picks up a plush tribble, opens up the velcro pouch where the controls are, clicks the switch over and the screeching is replaced with cooing instead.

That's right, he got a toy tribble for Christmas. And he just rolls his eyes and sets it aside. The cooing can still be heard off screen.]

Just tell me if you need anything.

[ooc: I will be replying with damnitjocelyn again. <3]

As interesting a history lesson as that flood was, I could've done without turning into a chain smoker. Anyone have any suggestions on how to get the smell out of stuff?

For any of you new people, I'm Doctor Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer of the starship Enterprise and head of the infirmary here. We're kinda short staffed at the moment, so if there's anyone who wants to lend a hand, let me know and we'll try to work something out. Inmates'll need to get permission from their warden before they're allowed on staff.

Any new arrivals should come down to the infirmary whenever they're able for a medical exam. It takes five minutes, is no touch and the results are confidential. We use them to create a medical baseline in case something happens while you're on board.

[Private to Spock]

You've been awful quiet lately.

[Private to T'Pol]

You alright? [Dat flood man. :|]

[Private to Arya]

How're you doing, kid?

[Warden Filter, backdated to right after this log.]

Raistlin poisoned Richie Gecko while he was in the infirmary. I've booted him off of support care indefinitely. Anyone has a problem with that, I'd be happy to explain the logic behind it.

[Public, present dated to Fourth Wall Day]

Dr. Leonard McCoy, Chief medical officer of the USS Enterprise. In case anyone out there feels like saying hello.

[McCoy sounds slightly out of breath, and is trying to get this out of the way as fast as possible, because the crew members are eying those sharp things, and Bones doesn't want to be distracted when they start coming at him again. He's stunned two of them with his phaser by now. His accent is much more pronounced, and he's talking much faster than usual.]

Caesares was right, these things are trying to kick us out of the infirmary. If anyone can come help grab supplies before they - goddammit -

[There's a blast of phaser fire before the feed cuts.]

[Private to Jim]

You had better not be dead.

[Private to Sloth]

Where are you?

[Friends Filter - if you think you're on it, you are.]

Sound off,

[ooc: And feel free to spam in the infirmary as the horrible monsters decide to start kicking us all out.]

[Hello again, Barge. This time, McCoy sounds a little less clipped and frazzled and more just grouchy, because he’s had time to settle in, but he’s still very :| about the whole idea of being able to just walk around on deck in the open air with space just… hanging out there. It’s a strange thing to adjust to.

... He has definitely been keeping as far away from the deck railing as possible, if he's even wandered out there since Jim dragged him out there.]

I already got the talk about the ship not always bein' like this, and lookin' like it's about ready to get hauled off to some scrapyard, but is anyone else bothered by the fact that we’re wanderin’ around on a ship whose hull’s apparently got the strength of goddamn rice paper? What’re we even crashin’ into out here? It’s not like we’re tryin’ to navigate around some asteroid field.

I’m not sure what’s worse, havin’ your eyeballs pop in a real hull breach or come back psychologically damaged from some goddamned left turn that sends us crashin’ into whatever the hell there is to bump into out here.

And that's just how it is? And no one else's all that worried about it? What the hell happens if you fall over the side?

[Private to Jim]

So, what'd you do that got Martha askin' about phaser burns? [Because lolz it was definitely not Spock. :|]

[The microphone clicks on before the video feed does, but after some relatively hard to hear grumbling about technology and how he doesn’t have time for this and he’s a doctor not an engineer, the video clicks on to reveal what might be a familiar face. Or, is, if you’ve ever seen Cooper around. Regardless, he’s wearing a blue Starfleet uniform, and looks a little tense as he adjusts the video and actually starts talking.

He speaks with a relatively pronounced accent - Georgian, if you’re particularly skilled at picking out American accents – which makes everything sound like a drawl, although again, there’s a certain tenseness.

He’s not exactly thrilled to be here. :|]

I’m Doctor Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer on board the U.S.S. Enterprise, and I’m a warden here.

I’ve been told assignments don’t happen until the 15th and 30th of every month, so until then, where’s the Sickbay in this place? I’d like to talk to whoever’s in charge as soon as possible.

[SPAM FOR JIM after talking to Rhade :|]

[Rhade had told him where Jim's cabin was, and even though he could have just been lying or something? McCoy was too distracted to really consider it or care too much. He tossed aside the journal and was in front of the door only a few minutes later, hammering on it a few times.]

Jim! It's McCoy.